


don't make a fuss

by SkyRose



Category: Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Banter, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Undercover, a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-08-28 00:03:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16712605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyRose/pseuds/SkyRose
Summary: Lando convinces Han to con their way onto an unfamiliar planet by pretending to be a couple with the promise of bountiful riches. And hell, Han will pretend to be anyone's lover if it means he can pay of his debt.





	don't make a fuss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Val_Creative](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Val_Creative/gifts).



> I find comfort in star wars rarepairs over the main ships of this particular fandom, so I'm glad I was able to participate in this event! Han/Lando is a fun pairing to read and write. I hope you enjoy!

It was a once-in-a-millennium kinda job. A little risk, plenty of reward, and a mild amount of skill required. Han was confident they could play it off. Usually, the “they” would be Han and Chewie but…

“I tipped you off. I want in,” Lando had demanded after describing the job. “Besides, the Sekoyxians are a particular folk. Very picky about who they let in. I highly doubt they’d let in a Wookiee. They might not even let your sorry ass in.”

Han glared at Lando as the man take a sip of his neon drink. “And what’s that supposed to mean, huh? What do I gotta do to get in?”

Lando broke onto into a wide smile. “Simple, baby. Marry me.”

Han’s glower grew. “You’d better start talking sense—”

“Calm down, Solo. I’ll explain. It all dates back to the Sekoyxia Revolution—”

According to Lando, the Sekoyxians fought a long brutal battle. The planet was fractured, half the population left and the faction that stayed was a deeply religious group with very specific values. After fighting the war, they became very wary of foreign peoples. Male/male relationships were the most common pair bonds, due to the limited amount of female Sekoyxians. Most people that get in are men in serious relationships with other men. 

“They rarely let in non-humanoids, sorry Chewie,” Lando finished his explanation with. Chewbacca garbled in response.

“So the only way we get in is if we pretend to…?” Han asked, face scrunching up at the thought of it. 

“Be gay lovers? Yeah, that’s what I’m saying, Solo,” Lando answered. “And no need for the faces, I’m not too thrilled about it either. But trust me, the money will be worth it.”

Han slouched down in the chair he was sat on, sighing, “You’d better hope it is, Calrissian.”

\---

The plan was rather simple: pick up a crate filled with something anonymously illegal, smuggle them onto Sekoyxia, meet the buyer, get the money, and leave the planet. 

Since Chewie couldn’t come with he was gonna drop them off and stay at a neighboring week for the duration of their stay. He’d be back in two days to pick them up. They had long-distance emergencies communicators in case something went wrong, but Lando assured them it wouldn’t.

“That’s what you’re wearing?” Lando asked Han as they packed what they’d need for their weekend getaway.

“Uh, yeah. Somethin’ wrong with it?” Han questioned back as he showed off his jeans and leather jacket.

“No, nothing wrong with dressing like a scoundrel except for the fact we’re trying to look like a reputable couple that’s—”

Han glared at Lando, tuning out his annoying rants. “If you’re gonna act like this all week—”

“Oh, shut up and change you little—”

“I’m gonna turn this ship around—”

“You need the money and—”

Chewbacca howled at the bickering pair. The two somehow migrated toward each other until they inches apart. They sprung apart, Lando crossing his arms and Han scoffing as he past Lando and walked out of the room. Chewie followed him.

“This is a terrible idea, you and I both know it,” Han said to the Wookiee.

Chewie laughed and mentioned Han’s crippling debt.

“Yeah, I know, I know. I’ll play nice and we’ll get that big fat check. I promise,” Han replied as he dug through the compartment he kept his clothes in. He found the nicest pair of pants he had as well as a never-worn shirt. He went into a different room to change.

When he walked back out, Lando and Chewie were having something that resembled a conversation. Lando noticed Han and smirked. “Now, that’s my beautiful lover,” he teased as he looked Han up and down.

“I hate these pants,” Han said as he sauntered around in the room. “They’re too tight.”

“I like ‘em,” Lando proclaimed before he walked over the pat Han’s ass. “They’re too tight.”

\---

The first test of Han and Lando’s “relationship” was the tourist checkpoint. Chewie dropped them and their luggage off. They exchanged farewells and the Wookiee soon took off, leaving the two alone.

“Let’s get this over with,” Han said as he made his way to the checkpoint building, luggage in hand. Lando followed, carrying his luggage. In one of Lando’s bags was the small crate holding some substance Han couldn’t pronounce that was worth big money. 

There were guards at the entrance of the building to check their bags. Lando warned them about his expensive clothes. The guards were cautious enough about touching his clothing that they missed the crate hidden in them.

“Good work,” Han whispered to Lando as they passed the guards.

“Why thank you, babe,” Lando loudly proclaimed as they walked, snaking an arm around Han’s waist.

Han wanted to glare, but they were in front of a stern-looking green man behind a desk. “Names?”

“Han—”

“Laro and Hanell Calrisolo,” Lando answered before Han could finish.

“Married?” the man asked.

“Yes,” Lando replied. The man handed them a form for the couple to fill out. Lando made up most information needed. Once he handed back to the man, a door opened and they were officially let into the bustling city.

“Have I ever mentioned you have such a lovely name, Laro?” Han asked with faint sarcasm when they exited the building.

“Shut up, I was put on the spot,” Lando scoffed. “Follow my lead.”

Han followed Lando to a public transport station. They rode a monorail to a lavish hotel. It’s ridiculous to Han, who’s used to sleeping on the Falcon. “You really splurged for me,” Han joked as they exited the monorail.

“Not just for you. Wait til you see the bath,” Lando teased with a wink.

He was obviously playing around, but Han couldn’t help the curious spark that lit up his brain. Han knew Lando liked guys. He’d seen some of the boy toys he had around him when he wasn’t broke. Han preferred women, but he was open-minded. He’d exchanged some spit with a few guys on Corellia after Qi’ra left. It was fun and thrilling and—

Well, Han supposed that could describe a lot of his interactions with Lando.

\---

They had the day to themselves. They were meeting with the buyer first thing tomorrow. Lando wanted to get on Sekoyxia plenty early to familiarize himself with the planet and chat with the locals. The easiest way for someone like Lando to do that was to gamble.

Han accompanied to the casino, because what was else he supposed to do? He didn’t feel like going for a stroll through the city, that’s for sure.

It was midday, so there weren’t many people at the casino. Han and Lando mostly chatted to themselves and waited for the place to become busier before striking up any conversations. They messed around on the slot machines for a bit before migrating to a card table to play each other. Lando won two games, then Han won two and they decided to celebrate their draw with drinks.

As more and more people filed in, more and more eyes were on the pair. Lando made it a habit to keep contact with Han. It was a bit annoying, the constant, alternating hand around his waist, arm over his shoulders, elbow locked with his elbow, hand clasped around his own.

It was also kinda nice. He always knew where Lando was. Lando would whisper him amusing things under his breath.

“Oh, look Yex,” an older-looking man said to another guy. “They remind me of us, when we were young.”

Lando and Han exchange looks at the comment, both frozen for a second and unsure what to do. Lando eventually smiles proudly before pulling Han close to him. “Why thank you, sir, but you look rather young to me.”

The man laughed. “How long have you two been together?”

“Three years,” Lando replied as Han said, “A year.” Lando swiftly added, “We’ve been married for a year, but together for three.”

The man seemed unfazed by the slip up. “Oh, I’m surprised. “You two look like new lovers.”

“What makes you say that?” Han asked, genuine curiosity disguised as friendly conversation.

“Well, you two have been all over each other. Yex rarely even hold my hand,” the man teased as he eyed his lover. “And I can see a hesitation in both of your eyes. I won’t ask for details, but I hope you two are able to work out whatever you’re going through.”

Han wanted to laugh, but instead he politely nodded as the older couple walked off. Once they were far enough away, Han broke away from Lando’s grasp to walk to the exit for some fresh. 

“Han!” Lando called after him, quickly catching up to him. 

“I’d like to talk in private.” When they were outside, Han said, “I know we’re supposed to be a couple, but do you have to so handy?”

Lando frowned. “What, do you not like it?”

Han opened and closed his mouth, puzzled by the question. “Wh— I — Calrissian, don’t play games with me.”

“Alright, I’ll keep my hands to myself,” Lando said with a wink. Han watched as Lando saw something over Han’s shoulder. 

“What?” Han demanded.

“Someone’s coming!” Lando exclaimed in a rush before he pushed Han against a wall and kissed him.

It was a sloppy, distracted, adrenaline-filled kiss. The suddenness of it made Han instinctually push at Lando’s chest, but Lando grasped his hands and placed them on his shoulder.

Han let himself relax into the kiss. It wasn’t the worst kiss he’d ever had, from far it actually, once they got over the nerves and moved naturally against each other. Lando’s facial hair rubbed against Han’s lips and face, which wasn’t a unique sensation to Han. It sent a thrill down him, because he was making out with Lando behind a casino and he didn’t want to stop.

He faintly heard footsteps pass. Lando pulled away from Han, staring into his eyes as he caught his breath.

Han felt himself grin. “If I didn’t know any better—”

Lando shushed Han by placing a finger on Han’s lips. “In your dreams.” He walked away from Han with his usual confidence. Han followed as he recalled what the older man had said. 

Hesitation, in both their eyes. Not just Han’s. 

This scheme got a hell of more interesting.

\---

They should have known it was all too good to be true. 

Morning came and they headed to the meeting place the buyer had given Lando. They waited there for about an hour. When they finally showed, they weren’t exactly friendly. They were a large bug-like creature with a sour expression.

Lando gave them the small crate. They inspected it and opened it. They sniffed the substance before poking it.

“This is fake,” they growled.

“What?” Lando replied, startled. “I was told—”

“You were  _ told. _ That’s not gonna cut it, Calrissian. You promised me I’d get what I wanted,” they ranted as they pulled out a blaster. In an instant it was fired and the blast struck Han’s side.

“Han!” Lando shouted. Han doubled over in pain and tried to grab the blaster in the holster hidden behind him.

“You and your friend better get runnin’, Calrissian,” the bug warned as it pointed the blaster squarely at Han again.

The pain was severe enough that Han had trouble recalling what happened next. He thought Lando helped him run away, laser fire whizzing past as the bug and his cronies fired at them. Eventually, they out ran them by entering some kinda building. Han blacked out when Lando set Han on the floor.

\---

“Han, c’mon, wake up,” a voice said.

Han’s eyes snapped open. He looked around to find he was in the Falcon with Lando standing next to the bed he laid in. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t my hubby.”

Lando sighed, then frowned, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I should have known better. Everyone involved was sketchy, more sketchy then I usually—”

Han was loopy on painkillers, so he thought it was a great idea to lean up to kiss Lando. So he did. When he pulled away he said, “Hey, it’s okay. I’ve suffered worse.”

Lando smiled down at Han. “You shouldn’t have gotten hurt because of me.”

“Last time I checked, you weren’t the one that fired the blaster,” Han replied.

Lando glared. “I’m trying to be nice, Solo.”

“And I love seeing you try, but honestly I’d like to kiss you some more,” Han said.

Lando smirked. “I knew you couldn’t resist my charms.”

Han smirked back. “Same goes for you, pal.”

Chewbacca grumbled from the cockpit. It sounded an awful lot like,  _ I knew you’d fuck him eventually. _ Han wanted to disagree, but Lando climbed into the bed with Han and any other thoughts melted away. They kissed again, a little less gentle and a little more demanding.

“Oh, Laro Calrisolo, take me!” Han shouted with faux hysteria.

Lando rolled his eyes, ignoring the statement and swooping in to kiss him again.

In the end, they didn’t get the money, but Han did get the guy. And in a ridiculously sappy way, that was alright to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed! :)


End file.
